Where Did You Sleep Last Night? Crisis Skylight Story

I recently did some work with the homeless charity Crisis Skylight in Newcastle. I was part of a writer’s workshop, working with service users at the centre to write 100 stories about homelessness and to capture their experiences of destitution and combine them with 100 portrait photographs of those who have contributed. I also wrote an article on the project and storytelling and participatory arts in general which I will also post along with some of the portraits.

This is the story I have contributed: Where Did You Sleep Last Night?

Walking into the kitchen for the first time I noticed someone had just been to the supermarket. Every surface was swamped by bulging Morrison’s carrier bags. It was only on closer inspection I realised all of the bags were full of rubbish due to the resident’s reluctance to empty the main bin which itself was spewing out debris like a grotty fountain. With no money, no job and nowhere to stay I had been rescued from a looming nervous breakdown by three kindly friends who said I could sleep on their living room floor. Unfortunately for me, the boys were not the most house proud of fellows.       

One morning I woke to find my pillow covered in threads of silky sticky dew. On closer inspection I found that slugs had got in under the kitchen door and made a steady somnolent pilgrimage towards my cosy pillow. I felt pretty disgusted to say the least. I began to sleep within a ring of salt in order to keep any wayward molluscs at bay. I felt particularly pleased with my ingenious solution to this problem until one night I woke up to see a dozen slimy gastropods hovering around the perimeters of the salty fence I had erected.                     

Skin crawling I vowed to take more serious action against my tormentors. I headed to Woolworths and bought a large tub of slug pellets. Returning home I set about dusting the yard with said pellets. I felt a bit like an olden-days farmer sowing the seeds of his crop. I suspect the reality of the situation was that I looked like the star of a camp, albeit, murderous Shake n’ Vac advert. That night I felt wary sleeping without my sodium moat. I convinced myself that the pellets would present enough of a barrier for the slugs and eventually I fell asleep.                  

When I awoke I checked my pillow for silky trails. It was clear bar a small wet patch from where I had been sleeping open-mouthed. I inspected the kitchen (also clear) then ventured into the yard. Very little could have prepared me for what assaulted my eyes. Looking out across the 6ft square yard I saw approximately 3,000 shrivelled up, very, very dead slugs. Filled with guilt and Horror, I grabbed the empty tub of pellets that I had discarded in the kitchen. My eyes darting across the words on the packaging, I found the bit that says ‘instructions for use’ they said; “This product works by attracting slugs to the pellets, drawing them away from plants and crops then eradicating the slug by means of poisoning.” The packaging also went on to say, “Use one kilogram tub per 44,000 sq feet.”

Copyright Mark Dawson 2010